Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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