google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
