YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
