yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
