I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
