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Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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