is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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