I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
