4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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