so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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