Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
