his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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