On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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