That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Welp...herpes.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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