In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
