But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
