508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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