The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
