One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
