erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
