I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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