Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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