So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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