I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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