he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
