Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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