My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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