so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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