So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
