I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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