i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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