Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
