if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
