i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
