my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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