Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
