So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Randomize
