Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
