shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize