hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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