What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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