dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
