Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Everything about him screamed your future.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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