hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
