Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
And then my night got REAL pukey
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
