i need an iv and a liver transplant
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
there was a trapeze. enough said
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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