I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
