At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
