just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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