in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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